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May 14, 2020 Friendsy first launched as a college dating website and social network in 2013, with the app premiering in 2015 (which you can download via The App Store and Google Play). You must have a valid.edu email address to join, and then you can use their Tinder-like swipe matching system to find hookups, study buddies, friends, and dates in your area. 221 North Grand Boulevard St. Louis, MO Phone: 314-977-2269 Fax: 314-977-3447 Office of the University Registrar Transfer Articulation - Previously Articulated Listing To obtain official course articulations, you must submit an official transcript from every college and university you have attended. The attention can be fun, but when it comes down to it, the dating game in college is one that you'll learn a lot about as time goes on—you might not be a pro right off the bat. To get started, Her Campus has put together a list of the DOs and DON'Ts of college dating. Who, you ask, knew there was such a science behind college guys, anyway? The college bar is risky in the same way dating apps are risky in grad school — you'll probably run into your students doing body shots on a high top and honestly, there's very little chance of.
Dec 27, 2017 The college bar is risky in the same way dating apps are risky in grad school — you'll probably run into your students doing body shots on a high top and honestly, there's very little chance of.
When people think of college, parties, schoolwork and romance come to mind.
When I graduated from high school, I felt like I was finally in a place where I was ready to dedicate the time and commitment necessary to being in a relationship. I met a few guys who I liked when I went away. After a few months into my first year of college, I started dating someone who I thought could really make me happy.
At first, everything was going great. I finally felt like I had met someone who actually understood me and cared for me. He always walked me home after a date to make sure I got home safe. We could talk about anything, and it felt like we understood each other completely. It was magic.
Unfortunately, all that changed a few weeks later. We broke up. It turns out he was just like every guy I've met thus far in college: selfish and self-absorbed.
I had had crushes on a few other guys before I finally settled into that relationship, but every one of them seemed to have this similar way of thinking that I could not understand. They all believed dating was trivial, and that having feelings for someone was weak. They wanted to hook up with as many girls as possible, and didn't care about who they were hurting along the way.
It was hard to pull apart and try to comprehend. That is, until one day. I finally realized the importance of each of these people in my life. One failed relationship and many crushes later, I came to the realization that all of the guys I've ever been interested in have taught me important lessons about life and relationships.
Here are the five things no one ever told me about dating in college:
1. Not everyone dates exclusively.
In high school, everyone knows everything. Relationships are rarely kept secrets, and couples become obvious when pairs walk hand-in- hand down the hallway. Since these relationships are publicly known, dating exclusively is never a question. It is simply established and assumed.
Once I got to college, each guy I was into made it clear that we weren't exclusive. So if we were seeing other people, it would just be 'whatever.' I wanted to simultaneously pull my hair out and scream.
Everyone says not to overgeneralize people, but the guys I've met in college have only wanted hookups. Most of them seem to hate the idea of any type of commitment.
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It's frustrating, and it can seem impossible to get through the never-ending stream of terrible guys. However, I'm optimistic that there are nice guys in college who do want relationships. They can't all be the same.
2. Dating requires time management.
College is nowhere near as structured and organized as high school is. The day doesn't start and end at the same time for everybody. Instead, people's days begin when their first classes are scheduled, and they end after their last classes, meetings or practice.
There's so much you can get involved in while you're in college. Having a schedule that complements that of your boyfriend's is nearly impossible. There will even be days when too much work makes it difficult for you to see each other at all.
You'll get frustrated and feel defeated. But that time apart can make your relationship grow stronger. It will make your time together feel more valuable. It will get better as long as both people in the relationship try to make time for each other.
3. Some relationships will end up being long-distance.
When you find someone you really like, there is an instantaneous desire to constantly be with that person. College can be such a big, intimidating place that the opportunity to find someone who really understands you may seem like an impossible feat.
Unfortunately, not every guy you truly like and care about will always live in close proximity to your hometown. If he does, then you're one of the lucky ones. When you meet someone you like while you're away at school, it's likely that neither of you will think about the summer that could separate you.
When summer seems forever away, it's easy to ignore. But once spring kicks in and the final stretch of the year draws near, the pressure of your impending long-distance relationship sets in.
4. Don't date anyone who lives on your floor.
This seems really obvious, but it can be a difficult rule to stick to sometimes. I have never participated in 'floorcest,' but I have friends who have dated people who live on their dorm floors. Their horror stories have become my cautionary tales.
The awkward stares when you walk past one another in the hallway, and the dirty looks that get exchanged when one of you brings another person home for the night are not worth enduring. Just date the cute guy in your Spanish class. You'll save yourself a lot of trouble.
5. Luxurious dates don't always happen like they do in the movies.
In college, money is an issue for everybody. Most of it is spent on textbooks, classes and takeout. So, while your first few dates with someone new might be really nice, some of your dates will be much simpler, like sitting in the dorms while watching movies, for example.
For those of us who want a whirlwind romance similar to the ones we've seen on the big screen, it's hard not to fantasize about magical dates where your potential new guy will sweep you off your feet with some huge, romantic gesture. This isn't realistic in college.
Every date should be magical because of the person you're with. Your happiness shouldn't depend on whether or not your date took you to some fancy restaurant.
Just enjoy spending time with your guy. If you really like each other, you won't need the backdrop of a restaurant to enjoy one another's company.
This is probably an unpopular opinion but I enjoyed grad school way more than I did college. I appreciated the smaller class sizes, the more intensive research work I got to do, and the ability to work alongside professors I'd admired for years. The academic experience wasn't the only way grad school was different from college, though. After two years as a grad student, I learned that dating in grad school brought with it an entirely new rulebook I hadn't read in college.
As a grad student, you're in a different phase of your adult life. You're most likely in charge of all of your finances now, you probably have fewer roommates, and hopefully, you're more inclined to do your laundry yourself rather than taking it all home for your mom. I know, I know. Change is scary but I can confirm that Cheetos will remain one of your main food groups so you can at least take comfort in that.
Apart from these personal life changes, you'll notice a few differences in your love life as well, especially when it comes to casually dating. Here are three ways dating in grad school is so not like dating in college. New classroom, new rules.
Dating Apps
The ability to swipe through hundreds of people in your college town and the potential to match with literally anyone who catches your eye both sound ideal.
In college:
This thought process works out pretty well in college, especially since almost the entire student body is on dating apps, anyway. It's a quick way to meet new people or maybe even find out if that girl from your chemistry lab likes you back (you know, assuming you swipe right on her and it's a match). Dating apps are basically perfect for college because of how easy they are to use and how non-committal the whole swiping ritual is. It's rarely ever awkward bumping into your college classmates on Tinder because it's just what people do in college.
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In grad school:
This all seems a lot less appealing once you get to grad school. Presumably, your age preferences in grad school widen a bit leaving you open to a couple risks. The first is that you'll be swiping through professors who might be teaching your classes or whom you might be working closely with on a research project. Either way, it's sure to leave a queasy feeling in your stomach that'll make you question whether or not you really need to be on dating apps at all.
The other more horrifying risk, though, is the thought of accidentally matching with one of your students on a dating app. If, like I did, you work as a teaching assistant throughout your master's program, chances are you'll be teaching your own classes or, at the very least, grading papers for another professor's very large class. Keeping track of all of the students you interact with on a daily basis becomes difficult in a class of 150 students. You won't know them all by name and you might not always immediately recognize them outside of class — like on dating apps.
To avoid this potentially disastrous mishap, I'd recommend narrowing your dating app preferences significantly and avoiding swiping right on anyone who lists your school as the one that they attend. With fewer potential matches to swipe through, you'll be better able to determine which of them might be students of yours and which of them might actually be suitable dates.
Study Dates
Everyone knows 'study date' is code for, 'I like you, let's spend some uninterrupted, quiet time together so we can do literally anything else besides study.'
In college:
That's just as true in college as it is in high school. Asking your crush to have a study date with you is college-speak for Netflix and chill. Even if you do study for a couple hours, the conversation will eventually become more casual, you'll both be more relaxed, and it won't be long before you're studying each other. This still counts as biology, right?
In grad school:
Unfortunately, in grad school, a study date is a study date — no matter how badly you'd like to swipe all the papers off the desk and get busy. It's not because grad students are boring or have lower sex drives or anything like that. It's simply because, in grad school, you really do need all the study time you can get. Grad school reading assignments are exhaustive (hundreds of pages per class every week) and final papers can often be well over 30 pages long so winging it is out of the question. Not only are the classes more difficult but the grading policies are stricter. In my program, a B was equivalent to an F and anything below that meant automatic expulsion.
In addition to your weekly work load, you spend a lot of time traveling to academic conferences and submitting your work for publication — both tasks that require an extraordinary amount of prep time. For those students interested in careers in academia, presenting at national conferences and publishing a certain number of peer-reviewed articles before graduation are crucial to their professional advancement. That said, it's not uncommon for grad students to spend a lot of time together actually getting work done... even if they are interested in each other. The truth is that real study dates in grad school are kind of fun; it's comforting to know the other person is going through the same things you are and it's exciting to have someone to talk about your work with.
Date Spots
It's not like the types of places in any given town change between your college graduation and your grad school acceptance so why should your date spots be any different?
In college:
Once you've turned 21, the drinks date is fairly standard in college. You probably have a list of local bars with the best happy hours saved on your phone and you've already figured out the best route to walk back to your apartment if you have too much to drink. Best of all, since college bars tend to run outrageous drinks specials, it won't even cost you that much to #turnup.
In grad school:
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The college bar is risky in the same way dating apps are risky in grad school — you'll probably run into your students doing body shots on a high top and honestly, there's very little chance of saving the date after that. With college bars off-limits and fancier restaurants a little out of your teaching assistant's budget, coffee shops and more laid-back lounges are the go-to date spots in grad school.
Honestly, any chance just to get off campus would probably qualify as a date. Apart from avoiding your students by heading to a coffee shop, you'll actually be able to hear your date and enjoy their company somewhere more low-key.
Even if you go straight from college to grad school, you'll notice right away that things are a little different. Academically, you'll want to dedicate more time and effort to your work. Socially, you'll find yourself surrounded by similarly intellectual people who are passionate about the same subjects that you are. Romantically, just do your best not to date your students!
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